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About sharing image copyrightGetty Images Most people spend part of every day surrounded by strangers, whether on their daily commute, sitting in a park or cafe, or visiting the supermarket. Yet many of us remain in self-imposed isolation, believing that reaching out to a stranger would make you both feel uncomfortable.
A question can either kick off a conversation or keep it going, Sandstrom says.
Humans are inherently social animals, cnat are made happier and healthier when connected to others. In another experiment conducted in a waiting room, we found that not only did the people we encouraged to talk have a more pleasant experience, but so did the person they were asked to talk to.
About sharing image copyrightGetty Images Most people spend part of every day surrounded by strangers, whether on their daily commute, sitting in a park or cafe, or visiting the supermarket. Initiatives include: Virgin Trains deating all coach Cs on its west coast services as the "chat coach" Arriva distributing "conversation starter" cards via its national bus network, and encouraging passengers to "share a smile" Encouraging people from different backgrounds to mix on Translink Northern Ireland's Glider service connecting East and West Belfast Self-fulfilling expectations You might imagine that only outgoing people would benefit more from connecting with others.
These brief connections with strangers are not likely to turn a life of misery into one of bliss. In fact, several experiments indicate both extroverts and introverts are happier when they are asked to behave in hoe extroverted manner. This can keep us mistakenly isolated and disconnected from others. This may help to explain why cities seem so crowded with highly social people who are actively trying to ignore each other.
You get better at asking better questions, and answering with more interesting responses. These beliefs may be unwarranted.
Be curious Ask questions. Essentially, your personality may shape your expectations more than your experiences do.
Most thought that talking would lead to the least pleasant commute. Thinking others aren't interested in talking, or won't like you, wkth the very things that will keep you from leople contact. Yet many of us remain in self-imposed isolation, believing that reaching out to a stranger would make you both feel uncomfortable. Research actually suggests that people who ask more questions are better liked by their conversation partners than people who ask fewer questions.
The positive impact even seems to spread to the person you talk to. If you think that talking to a stranger is likely to be unpleasant, you'll never try and so never discover that your expectations might be wrong.
Research shows the opposite, however, that people nearly always are willing to engage in a conversation when prompted by someone else. Focusing the attention on the other person in those moments can help us get past those awkward spots, she says.
She researches how chwt navigate their social worldsincluding how language and mental capacity influences interactions. However, they can change unpleasant moments - like the grind of a daily commute - into something more pleasant. Few start a conversation with a stranger, but most seem happy to talk if you reach out with good intentions.
But simply reaching out to a fellow human being to say hello may be better received than people realise. The inner lives of strangers Separate experiments on buses and in taxis yielded similar ; individuals found connecting with strangers was surprisingly pleasant. He will offer early impressions of the on Friday as part of Crossing Divides On the Move, a day when the BBC - working with transport companies - is encouraging adults to chat to fellow passengers.
In fact, research suggests that we consistently underestimate how much a new person likes us following an initial conversation. Give someone a compliment It shifts the focus to the other person and should make them feel good, Sandstrom explains. Yet every participant in our experiment who actually tried to talk to a stranger found the person sitting next to them was happy to chat.
Although personality may not have a wihh effect on your experience of connecting with others, it may affect your expectations, with introverts underestimating the positive consequences of interaction. Our fear assumptions fail to take wuth the social norms of politeness, Schroeder says. We asked bus and train commuters in Chicago how they would feel about striking up a conversation on their morning commute, compared to sitting in solitude or doing whatever they normally do.
In fact, our research suggests we may often underestimate the positive impact of connecting with others for both our own and others' wellbeing.
Of course, nobody appreciates unwanted attention. Strangers sit next to each other on park benches staring at their phones, walk down city streets without smiling or saying "hello" to anyone. Feeling isolated and lonely, in contrast, is a stress factor that poses a health risk comparable to smoking and obesity. Having positive social relationships has been put forward as a key ingredient for happinessmore ificant even than how much we earn.
We found that commuters tend to be happier hoe they talk to a stranger, regardless of how extroverted they perceived themselves to be. For example, having a conversation with a stranger on your way to work may leave you both feeling happier than you would think.
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